Countdown to Mexico: Tomorrow

Why is it no one in Phoenix sells The Wizard of Oz?

Let’s put that on the list of questions I never thought I’d ask.

Yesterday I won the divisional title in the first annual Piper Center Scrabble Tournament.
Some fun words played: “devoted,” “elixir.” Neither played by me.
I won on a technicality.

What I am taking to Mexico:

Every DVD of Buffy, for research
A yoga DVD
Ben Lerner’s Angle of Yaw
Mary Gaitskill’s Two Girls, Fat and Thin
A half-written novel

What I hope to come back with:


Fantasy ANTM!

America’s Next Top Model started last night, and that means recaps at Four Four will appear on Mondays.

It also means….

…you can now play Fantasy America’s Next Top Model!

Each week, you choose three models to be on your “team.” They are scored per the following episode criteria:

Check below to see what things the girls will get scored for!

6 points
Winning the Challenge

-4 points

-2 points
Bottom 2

4 points
Verbal Fight (both models get points)

3 points

2 points
Tripping/Falling while ‘modeling’

2 points
Saying modelling is their “dream”

1 point
Reading TyraMail (any part will count)

1 point
Being told they have ‘dead eyes’

1 point
Being told they have no neck / missing neck

1 point
Being called “fierce” / calling self “fierce”

Clearly, this is entirely overdue in my life.

Parable of the Game

In college, a friend tried teaching me a game of cards called “Mao.” In this game, only one person knows the rules. That person is the dealer, who is also known as the Chairman. The Chairman deals each player a number of cards with no instruction. After some time passes, the Chairman, at his discretion, may instruct the players to pick up their cards. He will place one card face up. Some time may pass. The Chairman begins by placing one of his own cards on the discard pile and then engages in some kind of action. If the card is a King, he says, “It’s good to be the king.” If the card is a 4 of hearts, he says, “Paul.” Players begin to catch on that for each card played, there is a corresponding action to be taken. If any player engages in the wrong action, the Chairman shouts, “NO!” for each incorrect action until the correct action is intuited and completed. The Chairman may also dole out punishment for incorrect action at his discretion. Play continues until the Chairman indicates the game has ended.

I am not the Chairman.