Charles Jensen | Writer

America’s Next Top Model is back and already an outrage! Tonight’s elimination was so WRONG and obviously motivated by keeping a bitchy, conflict-inspiring contestant in the house while sending home the sweet-natured, attractive, better performing model.

So, aside from that, who am I loving?

Allison, freaky-eyed alien girl, who is awkward and strange, but also totally herself, and essentially very sweet.

Aminat, who is taller than me in heels and, without being cruel, tells it how it is.

London: “She loves Jesus, and modeling too.” She’s like a Tom Petty song! But she is also just cool and confident and fun-loving and wild–you know, in a Christian way.

Fo, whose freckles and fresh personality give her inner and outer beauty.

Jessica, of the flawless skin and flawless features.

Kortnie, who dated Dale Earnhardt junior and lived to tell about it! And who is barely plus-sized and plus-fabulous.

Sad to see the first elimination. I hope the next time–SHE’S on the chopping block. I usually don’t root against my hometown girls. Unless they’re, you know, evil