Charles Jensen | Writer

This isn’t your grandmother’s Noxema ad!

I finally got around to watching my DVRed pilot episode of the 90210 rehash. I was actually very cringe-ready, having read some early reviews and, of course, fearing the worst about a crappy remake of a previously crappy show.

But I was pleasantly not disappointed. The first 10 minutes of the episode were atrocious, with wooden dialogue and cookie-cutter characters (most of whom never broke their molds in the 2-hour pilot). It wasn’t until Jessica Walter showed up as the boozy, sharp-tongued grandmother that I felt comfortable with the show.

Producers are calling this version of the show “edgier,” and they probably mean that the show:
> features a character who video blogs and who goes by the name “Silver”
> used the words “penis” and “vagina” in the first half hour
> implied that one of the characters was getting an on-campus, in-car bj
> didn’t show Rob Estes without his top off until the very end
> required Shannen Doherty to smile–repeatedly.

I was disappointed that the stereotypically-dreamy boy with the angelic singing voice locked lips with the heroine at the end of the episode instead of being revealed to be getting his own after-hours bj from the boys’ phys ed teacher, if you know what I mean. Are we so over the gays that having a gay on your show means you’re not “edgy” anymore?

I’m hopeful that the adopted kid will come out, or maybe the son of the porn producer. Or maybe (God willing) Rob Estes!

Who likes them foxy and mean?

I’ll keep watching for a while, although I admit there are many fall shows competing for my monogamous attention. Stay tuned to see how these kids fare with me.