Charles Jensen | Writer

Dear Arden,

Thanks for your thoughts!
Sincerely,
Sittin’ with my dog watchin’ The Fountain

Dear Sittin’

My owner likes to tell me about his childhood dog Mary Kate. Mary Kate, a Westie, used to love watching television, and she used to bark at just about anything that appeared on it, especially other animals and dogs. But Mary Kate also used to bark at leaves that blew by the window, so she wasn’t all that bright, if you ask me.

I do like watching TV, but mostly at my grandma’s house (because there’s not much else to do!). My favorite show is Colorsplash on HGTV because, as my grandma says, the host reminds me of Charlie. When I’m at home with Charlie, I don’t watch as much TV because I don’t like what he likes. Except I liked Veronica Mars a lot because it had that cute pit bull Backup on it. But that’s a story for another time.

I’m not really into America’s Next Top Model because I think I’m prettier than all those girls put together, and I think Tyra is full of bad advice. Sometimes I like to watch Ugly Betty because it’s so colorful and weird. And I think Heroes is pretty boring. Mostly I’m into home decorating/renovation shows, I guess. I like a little destruction.

I don’t mind not weighing in on what gets watched at home. I have my bones and my squeaky toys and that’s fine. If humans had toys that squeaked, I bet none of you would waste time watching TV. Besides, wouldn’t you rather get off the couch and go for a walk?? Don’t you want to go outside? Outside? You wanna go outside…?

Love,
Arden

Arden answers your questions every Friday here at Kinemapoetics. Submit your question by emailing chasjens ATyahooDOTcom with the subject line “Ask Arden Anything.”