Charles Jensen | Writer

Portrait of me as the Unabomber. It was so COLD!

I got to ride the mechanical bull, something I’ve wanted to do my whole life. I lasted 48 seconds. The guy really cranked up the bucking near the end. They said, Keep your eyes on the bull’s head and I did. Then I literally flew up and off.

Not pictured: me, off the bull, on my back, legs in the air: only my shoe is visible.

EDIT: When I took a shower today, I discoverd that my inner thighs are both bruised and tender from clenching the bull so hard.

I don’t know if that will make me more or less popular.