Charles Jensen | Writer

In celebration of my shopping Odyssey on Saturday and Monday night, I’d like to share with you all the stores I visited in search of the perfect pair of plain, shiny, brown dress shoes (preferably a slip-on):

SATURDAY (Arizona Mills)
Famous Footwear
Bass
Journeys
Kenneth Cole
Rack Room Shoes
Rockport
Shoe Pavilion
Shoeteria
Robert Wayne Footwear

I estimate on Saturday I tried on 15 pairs of shoes, finally going into any shoe store we passed just to look. Nothing. Everything was ugly, didn’t fit right, didn’t come in my size (I’m a perfect 11 1/2), or felt like strapping bricks to my feet.

Monday night I resolved to go out after work, with some desperation, in the hopes I could have these by the start of our conference on Wednesday. Was I being to restrictive? Too inflexible? Was I asking for too much? Did what I want even exist??

MONDAY (Biltmore Fashion Park)
Macy’s–almost left with an uncomfortable pair of Steve Maddens, but pressed on
Cole Haan
Sak’s
Apple store (my laser printer just died and I needed to scope out prices)

While at the Apple store, I searched for the nearest DSW, which was 15 miles away…in the suburbs!

So, I drove there.

MONDAY (Chandler Fashion Center)
DSW

Spent and hour and a half trying on 13 pairs of shoes, all wrong.

Frantic, I declared a shoe crisis! I called my man in Texas and asked for suggestions. He said, “You certainly seem to know what you want,” echoing the salesperson’s comment to Jimmy Stewart in Vertigo. And perhaps I was that obsessed.

Beaten, desperate, uncertain, I returned to Arizona Mills.

MONDAY (Arizona Mills)
Sketchers
Ross
Kenneth Cole

At Sketchers, I realized what I also needed to do was replace my casual brown shoes because the soles were cracked in half. I bought those, and because they always have buy one/get one half off, I got a cute pair of sneakers as a bonus for off-setting part of the shoe crisis.

Then, on my second visit to Kenneth Cole, nearly in tears, I tried on several wrong shoes and started to leave

and there they were

just sitting there on a shelf under a sign that said “SALE”

and they were beautiful, nearly everything I’d wanted (they lace up) and when I looked, they had my EXACT SIZE.

I slipped my foot in and it was love.