Charles Jensen | Writer

In honor of Veronica Mars‘s return from winter hiatus on January 23 with an episode called “Show Me the Monkey,” I’d like to recap some of the show’s best episode titles so far. I’m hot for good titles.

“The Wrath of Con”
In which Veronica tracks down the source of an internet con artist who preys on high school girls with money to burn.

“Ruskie Business”
In which Veronica helps a Russian mail-order bride track down her missing fiancé.

“Cheatty Cheatty Bang Bang”
In which Beaver hires Veronica to prove his stepmother Kendall is having an illicit affair.

“Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner”
In which Veronica’s boyfriend runs off with a newborn baby.

“One Angry Veronica”
Two words: jury duty.

“Rashard and Wallace Go to White Castle”
In which Veronica attempts to prove that Wallace did not run over a hobo after a late night stop at White Castle.

“Ain’t No Magic Mountain High Enough”
In which Veronica saves her school’s senior trip to Six Flags by pinching the thief of the winter carnival’s profits.

“The Rapes of Graff”
In which Veronica must clear of rape charges the name of the boy who once broke her heart: Vandergraff.

“Nevermind the Buttocks”
In which Veronica tracks down the occupants of a muscle car whose occupants mooned the rich kids right before the bus tragedy.

“Look Who’s Stalking”
In which Veronica protects her friend Gia from a perceived stalker who may or may not have blown up the bus.

“My Big Fat Greek Rush Week”
In which Veronica must infiltrate a Stepford Wives-like sorority in finding out who raped her friend Parker.

“Hi, Infidelity”
In which Veronica is accused of plagiarism and, in the process of clearing her name, uncovers an uncomfortable secret about someone in her life.