Charles Jensen | Writer

I hear a lot of talk about negative comments and negative emails resulting from blog posts in other people’s blogs.

I’m here to tell you that I think I’ve received one or two mean comments in two years of blogging, and never a mean email.

Am I not enough controversy? Am I too Pollyanna? Are none of you ready for this jelly?

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Last night I taught myself to play Kelly Clarkson’s “Gone” on my guitar. It’s not half bad!!

Oh, and PS, Monday night I got a FREE TICKET TO SEE HER CONCERT. It was awesome. It was a big vagina fest, but I have an honorary vagina, so it was all good.

Kelly did not: change costumes, have back up dancers, lip synch, or wear a headset mic. She worked her ass off during the show. It was fantastic. She is the kind of person I would want to be friends with. I think Kelly and I would be good friends. We’re both very Pollyanna.

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Why do I keep blogging? Because I like you, I really like you.

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Here is what it is like to live alone:

6:00 pm. Arrive home from work
6:05 pm. Check email. Have none.
6:10 pm. Feed the dog and take her out. Turn on Tales of the City.
6:20 pm. Begin cooking dinner. Have a sip of wine.
6:25 pm. Throw away empty wine bottle.
6:30 pm. While food simmers, check email. Have none.
6:31 pm. Check to see if anyone has called and maybe I didn’t hear it.
6:35 pm. Stare out window while food cooks.
6:40 pm. Eat
7:00 pm. Check email. Have one, but it’s spam.
7:05 pm. Log onto myspace.
7:55 pm. Realize have been goofing around on myspace for an hour.
7:56 pm. Check email. More spam.
8:00 pm. Play Nintendo.
8:30 pm. Pause Nintendo game to see if anyone has called my phone.
8:31 pm. Send Montgomery Maxton a text message.
8:32 pm. Send everyone else I know a text message, probably about Veronica Mars or with Mean Girls dialogue.
9:45 pm. Eat something.
9:48 pm. Feel disgusted with self for eating junk food. Vow never to eat junk food again.
10:00 pm. Open new bag of Doritos.
10:07 pm. Throw away empty bag of Doritos.
10:08 pm. Check email, get Doritos dust all over keys, but have actual email that isn’t spam. Think about replying, but have nothing to say.
10:30 pm. Fall asleep during Buffy rerun.

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It is hot everwhere except Arizona. Yesterday was the only beautiful summer day I’ve ever experienced here. The monsoons have cooled the air a bit (and raised the humidity to far, far above it’s normal levels), but yesterday, even though there was sun, there was a less hot breeze blowing.

I feel for you out there in the world that is baking. I know how it can feel. But here, now, this is nice. Come to visit. Stay awhile.