I Wish I Were

…a filmmaker.

This is probably a no-brainer: you are, after all, reading a blog called kinemapoetics, but yes, there was a time when I thought that a filmmaker’s life was the life for me. It was my undergraduate major, which is why I know suffer from contant-film-on-the-brain syndrome and why I’d rather see the world through lenses, even if now that’s just through my glasses.

Good poetry and good cinema leave me feeling unlike anything else: changed, really. After undergrad I spent two years of soul-searching to decide if I wanted to do advanced study in film or in creative writing. It was a difficult decision, but in the end, I was more attracted to the solitary work than the hyper-collaborative world of filmmaking. Yes, there are too many people on a set for me. I couldn’t imagine trying to coordinate all that…

…but that doesn’t mean I don’t still think of myself as a frustrated filmmaker, or that I wouldn’t be interested in doing very small, shoestring films at some point. Will I ever? I’m not sure. But, there’s always the dream…

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