Okay, I think I can say it now. It seems like most people have been notified…
My chapbook The Strange Case of Maribel Dixon was selected as one of the published finalists for the DIAGRAM/New Michigan Press Chapbook Contest and will be published this fall!
A short story in poems, the chapbook concerns the vanishing of Maribel Dixon, wife of physicist Edward Dixon, in 1930s America.
I finished the first draft of my first short story in seven years. While I was in Vegas I started writing the second story, concerning one of the characters several years later. I know what happens to a third character in the future. I think he’s in this new story too. It takes place in (surprise) Vegas.
I can share my good news in, like, two days. I’m really excited about it. I was playing it cool before.
I went out in search of a lover yesterday—a particular lover. A pair of black Kenneth Cole Flex-a-bits. They look like this:
They feel like this:
I just tried to order them online and they are backstocked until October 10.
Good news in the inbox today, but I’m just teasing you with it right now. Details to follow. Until then, enjoy part two of my Vegas Index:
Number of times we went to the karaoke bar at Imperial Palace: 2
Estimated median age of the karaoke participants: 40
Estimated ratio of men to women: 1 to 3
Approximate age of the woman who sang “Fergalicious”: 45
Latest possible year her black lace dress-over-bike shorts and bleached overpermed hair were last considered “sexy”: 1986
Approximate angle (from center) at which she wore her matching black baseball hat: 80 degrees
Percentage of lyrics to “Fergalicious” she knew by heart: 100
Total number of times I sang: 3
Chance the karaoke dj told me they only had the Marilyn Manson version of the song I wanted to sing: 1 in 3
Number of times I sang the Marilyn Manson version instead: 0
Total number of times I sang the words “Gettin’ boys is how I live”: 1
Total number of times this was in reference to myself: 0
Total number of times I sang the words “[I wear] my birthday suit when I’m home alone talkin’ on the phone, got an interview with Rolling Stone“: 1
Chance that I am actually at home in my birthday suit at any given time: 1 in 19
Chance that I am talking on the phone in my birthday suit: 1 in 50
Chance that I am also being interviewed by Rolling Stone: 1 in 1×10(-23)
Chance that I am in my Vegas hotel room in my birthday suit: 1 in 3
Number of times Helena Handbasket sang: 4
Number of songs she sang originally performed by an actual or probable lesbian: 2
Minimum number of times Helena Handbasket was encouraged to “take her top off” by a member of the audience: 3
Number of times she took her top off: 0
Total number of consecutive power ballads performed in one night: 4
Chance it was originally performed by a tenor: 1 in 2
Chance it was originally performed by Nancy Wilson: 1 in 4
Chance that the power ballad’s lyrics concerned lost love or being ignored by a lover: 1 in 3
Chance that it was a declaration of eternal love that ultimately ended in divorce: 1 in 4
Chance that the karaoke dj said something flirty to me during our 3 seconds of conversation before my song: 1 in 2
Chance that this included punning the word “lei” for “lay” in reference to sex: 1 in 6
Actual number of times I got “leied” by the dj: 1
Minimum total number of gay men who went to Margaritaville on Saturday night: 3
Number of them who weren’t in my pants: 2
Number of them who wanted to be, other than me: 1
Maximum number of occupants of my pants at any given time: 1
Chance that a woman at Margaritaville was a drunk blond in a tube top: 1 in 3
Percentage of women at Margaritaville who were drunk and dancing in my “dance space”: 13%
Percentage of straight men at Margaritaville who elected to dance: 50%
Percentage of those straight men who could not find the beat: 89%
Number of straight men who instead stood on the dance floor watching the band: 7
Likelihood an audience member will sing the “Bum Bum Bum” part of “Sweet Caroline”: 1 in 1.5
Approximate lifespan of a Vegas cocktail: 7 minutes
Approximate lifespan of a Vegas vacation: 3 days
This number expressed as a series of cocktails: 617.14
Approximate length of Britney Spear’s Vegas marriage: 55 hours
This number expressed as a series of cocktails: 471.43
I’m thrilled to mention that LOCUSPOINT will make a triumphant return very soon with the following cities:
Jen Currin’s edition of the vertigo west poets in VANCOUVER (May release)
Shin Yu Pai’s edition of DALLAS (June release)
I’m thrilled to hear that Erin Bertram won the 2007 Frank O’Hara Chapbook Award for her collection Body of Water!!
I’ve just received word that I can spill one piece of my big, good news.
I received an Artist’s Project Grant from the Arizona Commission on the Arts in support of my manuscript-in-progress!!
At the time, I had only envisioned the Matthew Shepard poems and the Vertigo section of the book. The strange science-fiction section at the end was a complete surprise.
EVEN BETTER: four wonderful other artists I know also received grants during this cycle: poet Sean Nevin, poet Stephanie Lenox (who has been giving me amazing feedback on my work as I write it), memoirist Tania Katan, and visual artist Angela Ellsworth.
Please join me in congratulating them.