Category: films
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Bad Films/Charles Jensen/THE SWEETEST THING
You know the plot: a heartless love ’em and leave ’em player toys with the affections of the opposite sex until WHAM! along comes the one who may turn out to be THE ONE. Undaunted, the player and player’s best friend hop in the car to pick up THE ONE at a wedding…only to discover…
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Bad Films/Collin Kelley/THE LEGEND OF BILLIE JEAN
The Legend of Billie Jean was a flop in the summer of 1985. It was critically savaged and only earned around $3 million (peanuts!) at the box office before being sent to cable purgatory. Even the soundtrack, designed to draw in the MTV generation, tanked. Pat Benatar, who sang the killer theme song, “Invincible,” has…
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Bad Films/Andrew Demcak/AMUSING MUSES: XANADU VS. THE LADY IN THE WATER, WITH SPECIAL BONUS PARABLE: GUILLERMO DEL TORO’S DON’T BE AFRAID OF THE DARK
This is going to seem goofy as all hell that I even think about these things, but believe it or not, Olivia Newton John’s frothy roller-disco movie, Xanadu (41% Rotten Tomatoes rating) and the dreadful M. Night Shyamalan’s “Adult Fairytale” The Lady in the Water (24% Rotten Tomatoes rating) are basically the same film, and…
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Much to, I’m sure, Collin Kelley’s chagrin, I paid money to see Jennifer’s Body. And I don’t regret it. That said, the trouble with Jennifer’s Body isn’t Megan Fox, believe it or not. It’s simply that, while trying to be both funny and unsettling, it succeeds at being neither. There’s no gore to speak of,…
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The Best Tarantino Film Ever Made. (Almost.) SPOILERS, read at your peril.
Over the weekend, I saw Inglorious Basterds and keep thinking about it. I think it’s best of Tarantino’s films and would be a perfect film except for one minor detail. The film concerns, as you’ll see in the trailer, a special “Apache”-style military unit headed by Brad Pitt who drop into occupied France to kill…
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Insobriety Required
Because I am often slow to get to the movies lately, I just finally saw Twilight this weekend. You may recall that I tried reading the book some months ago and found it annoying, poorly written, dull, and all-around ridiculous (even barring vampires). I only read half of it and then regifted it as a…
Charles Jensen | Writer 