Last night: dreaming of running out of pesos.
Dreaming of bacterial food, of getting lost in Mexico, misunderstanding the taxi situation.
I did not sleep well.
Three days until Mexico.
This won’t be my longest international trip. I spent 22 days in Europe when I was 16 and two weeks in Belgium when I was 18. What can do for two weeks in Belgium? I’ll tell you: Antwerp, Oostende, Brussels. My mother’s small hometown and all the family you can imagine.
Watching American movies on TV with my cousins. Laughing at a joke, then moments later they laugh. The subtitles were slow.
Learning one word in Flemish: wacht. It means “wait.”
A project idea.
A tentative first poem that is surely garbage but a step in a direction, toward something.
Slowly coming back to writing. Like doing too much cardio. Feeling tired, but not tired at the same time.
And then, the name of the film my main character is making in my novel: Phantasmaorgasm.
I’ve been wearing my Kenneth Cole shoes for about two months now.
I want you to know they are the most comfortable pair of dress shoes I’ve ever owned.
I wear them to work all the time. I have to do a lot of walking, working on a campus, and they never make my feet sore. They are the perfect size and shape for my feet, with a wide toe box to accommodate my oddly squared-off toes, and although they aren’t “cushiony” the way sneakers are, they seem molded to my feet now.
And they weren’t too expensive, either, considering the amount of mileage I get out of them. They were only $89.00 at the Kenneth Cole Outlet store in the sad mall. It might be the most I’ve paid for a pair of shoes, but I’m glad I did. I’m going to go back—I have a little crush on this pair of black loafers. They have a silver bar across the tongue that I like. And: square toes.
My black dress shoes are from 1999. I bought them right before I got my first job, to wear on job interviews. Before that, my most expensive pair of shoes cost approximately $29. The black shoes are Guess?, and they’ve done good by me for almost 8 years. But it might be time to diversify, bring in a new player. Someday I would like to own more nice shoes.
My biggest shoe disappointment was a few weeks ago when I spontaneously wore my black Converse One Stars to the Tracy Longley-Cook show. My back was killing me and my heels hurt. I was sad. I love Converse shoes. But I think it’s either Kenneth Cole or Dr. Scholls for me from now on.